8 Pre-Passover Tips That Can Change Your Life

Sunday, April 10, 2011

It is now almost a week before Pesach (Passover) and I,  as many Jewish women,  are in a completely different mode of life. So, as much as I love fashion, I always wanted this blog to have little more substance and character than JUST fashion.  I wanted to also address other areas of the fashionable woman and her beautiful life. Well as beautiful as family life around major holidays is meant to be (and this everyone can relate to), it's not always easy. Let's just get down to it and admit it's pretty damn hard! Kids are home from school, grown kids come to stay for a while, parents come to stay for a while, many many random people also come to stay for a while. The house has to be cleaned...REALLY cleaned. An entirely new grocery list of only kosher for Passover food must be purchased. Meals have to be planned, prepared and cooked. And we are not talking about a Thanksgiving dinner here. We are talking about 10 gourmet meals in 8 days, with all revised recipes! But mostly, we all have to get along.

Each person in a family is a unique individual with unique needs and emotions. And when people come home they are likely to regress into their most relaxed (that's my kind term for slovenly) mode. When we go into the outside world we put our best faces forward but somehow when we come home we let our inner selves, our insecurities, weaknesses and laziness all loose. Mom or Dad will pick up all the pieces right? But Mom and Dad are people too! So I wanted to write a blog about basic family and holiday tactics to get us through so that our lives and families will ultimately be beautiful...even in the face of all the imperfections of humanity. Feel free to apply these concepts in other areas of life too, we can change the entire face of humanity with just a few small actions.

Here are my tips:

1. Remember that when someone says or does something hurtful to you it is probably because he or she is hurting. Try to react with empathy and forgiveness. Many fights can be avoided by just asking, "Is something bothering you?  Because I felt hurt by that comment and I know you didn't mean to hurt me."

2. Remember to foster an attitude of community. Don't only do what you feel like, realize that a family is a team and and if you sacrifice you immediate needs for the greater good of the family, ultimately your need will me met in a positive way.

3. Ask for help before you become overwhelmed and start screaming how unappreciated you are. Calmly give people jobs and tell them you need their help.  If they don't listen explain nicely that it is very difficult to do everything yourself, and participating in the benefits of the family also means participating in the jobs. 

4. Speaking calmly and respectfully goes a lot further than yelling and throwing insults. You may get short term results from screaming but you will also get long term resentments. Even if you don't get what you want you will still have your relationship. 

5. Accept that things will not always go the way you want them. Kids will fight, spouses will fight, food will not always come out great, drinks will be spilled on freshly washed floors, dishes will be broken, kids won't dress the way you want them to. Accept with grace because the big picture is good. You can only control your own attitude.

6. Have an attitude of gratitude. If you fill your mind with thankfulness for what you have there will be no room for disappointments and anger at all that you wish could be but is not. Once you allow yourself that state of mind you enter an endless vortex of disappointment that is extremely destructive in a family.

7. You only have to deal with one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. If this moment is not so great, hang on, the next will probably be better.

8. When you feel you have reached your limits, say excuse me and take a break. Go get a cup of coffee, go for a walk with your ipod, or just go into your bedroom and take a few deep breaths.

Remember, it is completely normal to let the people you love the most affect you the most. No one is perfect and spending time with family during holidays is a great practice time for acceptance, love and forgiveness.....it's not supposed to be easy.

I wish you all lots of love and positive energy! 


Coming up.....(back to fashion)....5 spring trends to keep in mind while planning your holiday wardrobe.
Cant wait!

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  1. goodness you're beautiful. you look like a sister not the mother...

  2. Great tips! I can't believe that last photo is your daughter. You look like sisters!

  3. What a fantastic post! Sometimes asking for help can be difficult; but it can definitely make you feel better in the longrun. :)

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