Why I Took Myself Off Instagram

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Hey everyone. HAPPY NEW YEAR! (This post was written January 2019, but not published until October 2019.)

So I figured I kind of owe you guys an explanation as to why I just disappeared from posting on my Fashionisha pages on Instagram and Facebook. No, nobody hurt me, and there was seriously no drama whatsoever. (Sorry, if you were looking for a juicy story or something.) That's precisely why I didn't make any grand announcements of leaving (usually when Instagramers do that they last about a week and then are right back at it).

There are a few reasons why I left, and it wasn't a rash, emotional decision at all. As a matter of fact, this decision had been a long time coming.

Here we go:

Reason number 1: When I started Fashion-isha, it was a real blog. This blog. For those of you who are new at this game, blogging meant having an actual website where you created blog posts. You did research, you wrote, you created something to offer others. You had to have some meaningful content and some actual computer skills. And in the beginning, (10+ years ago before Instagram was even an embryo),  I viewed myself as an editor...it was rarely about me! Blogging was a craft, and it didn't mean taking a million selfies, staging dramatic photo shoots, or doing a million stories about all the mundane errands in our lives. I have no idea when that became blogging, but when it did I already started contemplating getting out of that world. I felt that the craft that I, and so many other talented women who worked so hard to learn and create was being diluted with a bunch of smoke and mirrors all reflecting back to self, self, self. But I guess I felt like I had to stay current and went with the flow. I don't remember when exactly I got sucked into the whole posting selfies, and my outfits, but I remember I got way more likes and follows that way.  So I got swept up into it. (See reason number 2 on the issue of ego.) But, the truth is, I never, ever felt comfortable doing that. Surprising? Well, that's the truth.

Reason number 2: The problem with ego, self-promotion, looking for honor, and vying for "the most"....whether it be likes, comments, love, money, or attention, is like a big black hole of never-ending need. There simply is never enough. I felt like the competitiveness, unadulterated methods of self-promoting, and petty jealousy have turned Instagram into a big circus replete with loads of ego. I personally wanted to return to the real world and practice being present and focusing on the little things in life that bring true contentment. Sure it feels great to do a great post and get loads of comments and love. Or be featured in a magazine, or on a larger page than yours. Or to receive loads of boxes in the mail to show off. But then the next day, if you don't have a strong sense of just being ok with the flawed imperfect you, you're back to square zero. I wanted to sit in square zero long enough to take my own advice and not need anything else to feel like I was in square 657,000. (And by the way, do you really think that people who have 657,000 followers are not struggling to reach 1 million? Like I said, with matters of ego, it's endless.)

Reason number 3: As much as people KNOW that Instagram is only a small glimpse of people's lives, (maybe only a few short minutes of day that has 1440 of them), it's still a trap for making people feel bad about themselves. And even if people on Instagram are trying to be good and positive and inspiring, human nature is such that, the way a person or their life or their talents or their family looks (and may not actually be), causes us to examine our own flaws and what we are lacking. And honestly, I just didn't want to be a contributor to that anymore. G-d forbid I should cause anyone to feel bad about themselves or their life because of me! (See reason number 5.) Especially since most of my followers have no idea about the struggles or problems I myself may have too.

Reason number 4: When I first started blogging, I was living in Lakewood, struggling with a level of modesty I felt I couldn't keep up with, and the conflict between loving fashion and dressing modestly, I wanted to create a happy place that offered fashion advice for the women who kept the laws of modesty and wanted to still feel pretty and stylish. A lot has happened in my life since then. My circumstances changed, my kids grew up and went their own unique ways, and I moved out of Lakewood, ending up in South Florida. I had been feeling that the essence of the original Fashion-isha was not something I could uphold any longer. And when Instagram came out and then blew up, it was all about how many selfies and personal stories you could post to get those followers. That  was definitely not the essence of the original Fashion-isha. I truly would love to go back to the original way that I posted. Creating inspiring posts that aren't about me at all. So that's the direction I'm going in now, even if it means less likes and followers. 

Reason number 5: If you're an ashkenazi modern-minded Jewish woman like me, you're definitely not going to like this one. But I was told by a very dear friend (a French-Moroccon Sefardic modern-minded woman) that the amount of ayin horah I must have is probably huge and it's a definite spiritual blocker. No, this was not the first time I've heard that, and believe me, every time I did in the past, I would get defensive and chalk it up to jealousy. And we Ashkanazi women don't believe in ayin horah anyway right? But the truth is, the more "modern-minded" I became; ie believing in the the law of attraction and that thoughts are powerful things that create our lives - the idea of ayin horah actually became way more believable to me. If there are people out there believing things about you that aren't even true (perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect children) and they are angry because of their own pain, and they are thinking and talking negative things about you, well, that's definitely putting bad stuff...call it energy, vibrations, bad angels... whatever... out into the world. There are things in this world we can't actually see with our eyes but are most definitely there. And hey, everyone needs an open passageway for the blessings of G-d. Who doesn't need help for something? I most definitely did not want to be a stumbling block for someone to feel bad or inadvertently cause someone else's pain, or be a cause for someone to feel bad about themselves, even if my intentions were essentially good. Cuz man, the energy just flows back and forth between us. Karma is a bitch.

So there you have it. But before I go, I have a disclaimer:

This decision was solely for ME, based on what I felt I needed for my own life and the future of Fashion-isha, whatever it may be. I, in no way, am making any judgments about anyone else who is out there on social media. I have many, many dear friends who are huge posters and I love them all very much. I would never make a blanket statement about social media as a whole for other people, for it is not my place to ever judge or put my own personal issues onto other people. I firmly believe that social media is an excellent place to promote a business if done properly. And I believe that even the most "out-there" perfect looking Instagram posters are truly good-hearted, kind people just trying to shine their own light onto the world. As was I. As I may one day be again. Who knows.

But for now, this is my journey.

And lastly, a note of gratitude to those of you who sent me messages, telling me that you miss my inspiration and realness and asking if everything is OK and where I've been, I appreciate every single one of you!

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  1. Yeah I don't blame you for quitting IG, I have thought of doing this myself for similar reasons but also because of the singularity of IG and how it along with it's founder and that other gynormous media oulet control EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. We are living in very very dark times and are teetering on the edge but somehow everyone just keeps pushing forward in a blind frenzie. Yet everyone has this feeling that something is really amiss. And not only did IG kill magazines, it killed blogs. Like I said it controls everything.

    Allie of