On the Covid Vaccine: My 30 Year Wellness Journey and Why I Feel the Way I Feel

Saturday, December 26, 2020

The idea for this article was formulated after I posted an Instagram story about how disturbed I was that Quantas Airlines was considering mandatory vaccination to fly their airline. I was actually quite surprised when I got some comments opposing my negative attitude about a potential COVID VAX PASS for traveling. One woman left a comment asking: “Sharon, why are you so against vaccinations? Didn’t you vaccinate your kids?”

Honestly, I was overwhelmed by that question because I have never been an anti-vaxxer, and yes I did vaccinate my children with the required vaccines. I even remember feeling judgmental at one point towards anti-vaxxers. So I actually get it. When we learn something that feels right, it becomes our belief system, and it’s really difficult to understand those outside of it. But I was actually surprised that the concept of not wanting to inject myself or my kids (and grandkids) with a brand new, rushed vaccine, with a new technology that affects our RNA, was equivalent to being against all vaccines. I realized there was no short answer to that question, because I have had years and years of personal experiences that have led me to feel the way I feel. 

From the time we are born we are ALL indoctrinated to believe in doctors, vaccines, and drugs. Our lives are in their hands from day one! We are taught that our lives are being extended and saved on a level like never before in history because of vaccines and Western medicine. Right? And yes, I believe this may be true to some extent and I am grateful. But the system we have become dependent on and have put all of our belief into is far from utopian. See, you have to kind of get screwed by that system to start waking up to what’s really going on. And even with that, it's not all black and white or good vs. evil. That's why it's important to open up our minds, get educated, think for ourselves, and find some type of balance that works for ourselves and our families. So here, I will share just some of my stories that have led me to thinking the way I think and living the way I live, especially during these crazy times:

1990: The Pediatrician:

The morning after I gave birth to my first child, the pediatrician on call came into my room and, being a nervous first time mommy, felt a wave a relief when he told me with real care and compassion that it was totally normal to feel overwhelmed and I could always feel free to call him at any time, no question being too stupid. He also told me to make sure I make some time for myself, and that it wasn't selfish if I needed a break from my baby. This was way before we had social media support, and before “self-care” was a thing, so hearing this was everything.  I was thrilled to have met such a wonderful pediatrician, who eventually became a close family friend. He would see us in his home office whenever we needed off hour visits, and he always gave me his “free” sample bottles of the “best” most expensive antibiotics he had in his “hidden” closet.

I would often come to his office, and notice the stylish, savvy pharma reps dropping off gifts, samples and basically kissing a$$. As a young stay at home mom, stuck in gloomy central NJ, I remember dreaming about working for a pharmaceutical company - traveling and taking doctors out to sell my magic potions for great profit. After all, it was those reps who always dropped off all those beautiful free samples that my doctor was always generously giving me so my babies would sleep the minute they whined for a second or tugged at their ears. Believe me, I get the magic of a doctor that waves his drug wand promising to make everything ok.

My first indication that putting a baby on antibiotics for basically his entire first year of life is not exactly the best idea came when I took my 2nd child to the dentist, and he told me that he could tell that some of his adult teeth coming in were damaged. I was shocked! When I asked why, he asked me if he’d been on a lot of antibiotics. I said, well…he was that kind of baby…colicky, cranky and always getting sick…so basically he’d been on about 8 rounds of antibiotics in his first year alone! The dentist just nodded his head and said it makes sense.

At the time, I didn’t understand what I do now about how taking too many antibiotics messes up the “good bacteria” balance in the gut, causing all kinds of problems and affecting many delicate processes. (Including serotonin production!)

As I became a little bit more wary regarding antibiotics, I spoke to the doctor and he told me straight up that most ear infections are viral and doctors give antibiotics even when not necessary because it appeases the parents. Also viruses thrive on bacteria so if you wipe out the bacteria the virus is not as potent. What he didn’t say was that when you wipe out the bacteria you’re also wiping out the good stuff. 

A few years later, my doctor moved further away from my home, so going to the doctor became a whole trip. I still loved him and his practice, but I was starting to become more aware. I understood that the doctors were getting kickbacks for the meds they prescribed, and that my kids did not need antibiotics every time they didn’t feel well.

I started to learn why some “crazy” people were taking their kids to the chiropractor for ear infections: The gentle adjustments helped drain the fluid that was causing the pain and infections, in order to avoid antibiotics. Crazy started sounding not-so-crazy.

Eventually I implemented my new "sick rule." If my kids didn’t feel well, we waited 24 hours. If they had a high fever or still seemed unwell after 24 hours we would go to the doctor. And guess what? 99.9 percent of the time we didn’t end up going to the doctor. I also started noticing how often my friends were running to doctors and putting their kids on antibiotics and all kinds of meds, and how much less my kids got sick once I stopped running to doctors and putting them on meds. It was quite eye opening.

1995: The Internist

When my 3rd child was born in 1995, we were in a transition. We were planning on moving out of Lakewood, but our plan fell through and we ended up moving in with my mother-in-law temporarily. It was definitely a low-point in our lives. I was post-partum, 3 kids in, without a home of our own, and literally starting a new business from scratch.

I wish that I knew what I know now: Sometimes plans don't work out in order to give birth to new and better things. But at the time I suffered from terrible anxiety. The kind of anxiety that is really, really frightening. The kind that, I’m assuming is driving a lot of today’s population to believe in something….just something…anything…even if it doesn’t make sense…to save them. Like a mask? Perhaps a vaccine? Believe me, I get it because I've been there.

I went to my internist and the minute he walked in the room I burst out crying. I told him I was hardly functioning and I had awful anxiety. I  told him that I wasn’t sleeping, and I needed to sleep because I had 3 kids, one a baby, and how would I function? I was a wreck. He, unlike my pediatrician, was not empathetic at all. He just looked at me expressionless and told me I have postpartum depression. If felt like he was just slapping a label on me and proceeded to write me a prescription. As he wrote on his pad, I insisted it wasn’t PPD, because my baby was already 8 months old and I wasn’t depressed, I was just anxious and afraid and my life had been turned upside down. He told me I was wrong and prescribed me with anti-depressants and sleeping pills. (He didn't even give me anything for anxiety!) He told me I must take the meds and come back in 3 months for more. 

Looking back, I probably should have gone to a therapist, not an internist. But back then, young mothers hardly went for therapy unless they had REAL problems. Therapy was way more taboo than it is now. Again, without social media, we had very little support or knowledge as to what was normal or considered a real problem. Women struggling as young mothers with anxiety began to gain awareness just a few years later, with the advancement of technology and better access to the communication and information that came out of that.  

So I went home and took my pills.  I don't really know if they worked, or if I just calmed down a little because I was doing something. I was definitely still not 100% ok for a long time, and I realized that I most definitely did NOT want or need to be on meds forever. I also was getting scared of how addicted I had become to the sleeping pills. I would worry about never being able to fall asleep again without popping a pill.

Now let’s keep in mind that the 90’s was the era when the pharmaceutical companies were heavily promoting their amazing, miraculous meds that essentially got a portion of America addicted to pills. And later, some of their kids too, from swiping the bottles out of the medicine cabinets during parties or episodes of drama or depression. I used to get full bottles of the strongest pain killers (aka opioids aka rich man's heroine) after I gave birth. You can google the pharma lawsuits and all that fun stuff if you want, but that's when I started realizing that many doctors were just glorified drug dealers. Not all, but many.  

I have no idea why or how I had the motivation to do what I did, but I decided to get myself off the pills. I would get through the afternoon, and after my kids were sleeping, I’d go into my guest bedroom close the door and lean out the open window and give myself therapy. I would sometimes cry and even scream at myself things like, “I WILL NOT DIE IF I DON’T SLEEP! I WILL NOT DIE FROM ANXIETY. I AM A STRONG FREAKING MOTHER AND WIFE AND I DON’T NEED DRUGS TO FUNCTION.” I was doing verbal affirmations way before they were even a thing. Before bed, I broke my pills in 1/2, then in 1/4’s and then I just touched the bottle as a placebo to sleep. When I could sleep with the bottle touch I knew I was ok.

One day I ran into my internist jogging along the lake, and he stopped and said to me, “Hey, I haven’t seen you back in the office. You need to come in for more meds.” I told him that I was off the meds...that I had gotten myself off.  He looked at me like I was nuts and said, “You can’t do that. No one does that.” I smiled and said, “Well, I did. Bye.”

I never stepped back into his office.

Early 2000’s: THE FLU VACCINE

One day, another doctor friend of ours saw me in the grocery store and came over to tell me I should make sure to come in and get my flu shot. I was like…what shot? 

Now, I was born in 1968. We got the flu. That was part of life. To me, the flu was a bad cold. You got it and got to stay home from school or work. You got to stay in bed and have people bring you chicken soup. There was not a shot for the flu! But lo and behold, suddenly there was. And it was urgent that everyone get it.

It started to get annoying when this doctor friend bothered me about 2 or 3 more times over the next few months to get the flu shot. I was like, no way, I don’t need it. At this point, I was already pretty much against meds in general, unless really necessary. A few months later this particular doctor began to build his dream house down the block from us. Good for him. The pharmaceutical companies making those flu shots were a great sponsor! But, I and my family NEVER ever received the flu shot. And we hardly ever got the flu…hmmm.

This past spring, I found myself in a debate with a doctor, who told me straight to my face that by not taking the flu shot I could be responsible for killing the elderly. This idea of us being called "grandma killers" because we question medical trends or mandates is like being in a toxic relationship where the other person blames you for their problems and manipulates you to do things for them that are unhealthy for you. As a life coach I would say get out of that unhealthy relationship fast. Or at least set clear boundaries. If you are reading this and believe I'm being selfish, then you have been indoctrinated by one of the most unhealthy psychological manipulations of all time. 


My mother-in-law, also a free thinker and always open to holistic health and wellness, introduced me to the book "Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About" by Kevin Trudeau. This was the book that clinched everything for me and introduced me to the world of holistic wellness. Always looking for more information on how to lose weight and improve my health and well being, and after everything I'd been through, I devoured the book. It also was the first time I was exposed to information about the corruption of the big food and pharma industries, and that's when everything started clicking into place in my brain. Kevin Trudeau actually got in big trouble after he published his books. He was arrested for spreading false information, but if you read his book, you'll see that he talks about basic things like getting enough sleep, filtering your water, reducing exposure to electronics, lowering your stress, and eating organic produce. A lot of people think it's a new thing that we are being censored regarding keeping healthy and well in order to prevent dependency on doctors and drugs, but this has been going on for a long time. I highly recommend his book, and you can still get on Amazon!


About 12 years ago, my husband started experiencing a “pins and needles” sensation in his arm which eventually led to excruciating back pain. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty details, but suffice it to say, he was told, like so many others who experience unexplainable back pain, that he had several herniated discs and would need to have emergency surgery ASAP. 


We weren’t having it. I had already known several people who experienced a similar scenario and even after a grueling surgery still experienced pain and even worse complications. This was when we began exploring other, more “holistic” options to help my husband. By the way, besides for the doctors telling him he needed emergency surgery they also prescribed him with mega doses of one of the world’s most addictive opioids: Percacet. Lots and lots of fat pills of Percocet. Thank G-d they didn’t help him and he didn’t take them more than once or twice.

One day I was having coffee with a friend and shared with her what was going on, and she mentioned Dr. Sarno’s book on backpain. I was eager for any “out of the box” solution, so I went straight to Barnes and Noble and bought it. My husband read it, and he “got it.” We both did. This was so our vibe: Understanding that our brains are brilliant machines that would rather us feel and deal with physical pain than our emotional issues. And also, that contrary to what most doctors will tell you, herniated discs are in fact very common and not dangerous at all.

He started asking around and talking to people about Sarno, and we were told about a guy in Brooklyn who gave seminars on the Sarno method. We attended a few and ultimately, this was the path that led my husband to his healing. It wasn’t instant relief, like how western medicine hooks us, but once the brain accepts this new way of seeing things, it is the solution for almost every non-life threatening pain you will ever experience. The method was logical and consistent with what we were seeking: Healing and wellness for the long term without dependency on doctors and medications. 

For those of you who have been scared by doctors about your herniated discs, know this: The herniated discs ARE real, just not dangerous like many doctors say they are. My husband still has them, but lives with them without pain. 

2019: THE OB/GYN

Last year when I went for my annual check up and had blood work done, my ob/gyn, the only type of doctor I still maintain on a regular basis, told me my testosterone levels were low and tried to sell me a type of patch they embed…yes…EMBED into your lower back! I was shocked, because this was supposedly a more progressive doctor. I mean it was 2019 in Boca Raton, Florida! 

Thankfully, I got a second and third opinion on my bloodwork, and was told that my testosterone levels were in fact fine. I was actually a little estrogen dominant because of my age, but my hormones were basically good. Imagine if I would have trusted blindly and had hormones I didn’t need embedded in me??? Then what kind of medical problems would I have? 

So there you have it. These are just some of my experiences. We are systematically being brainwashed that being healthy naturally is not possible without running to a doctor or taking meds. Staying healthy via holistic or natural ways is never promoted, and information about it is often censored. We are told that those in the more natural fields are crazy and are causing us harm, when in fact, they are trying to keep us well and off pharmaceutical dependency. We are told this by the people we trust: Our media, doctors, politicians, and even the FDA who is supposed to be protecting us! We are made to feel bad or selfish if we do not buy into running to get tested or vaccinated for the sake of the the world's "health and well being". How can anyone not see that those in charge really couldn't give a damn about the world's well being. Almost a year later, the world is far from well. 

I’m blown away daily by what the fear mongering media, news outlets, tech companies, politicians and some doctors have done to the intelligence and independent thinking of most people. Fear is the best motivator. It’s how you get the masses to follow blindly even if the data makes no sense. 

This is why many are not questioning the unhealthy measures the entire world has adopted because of COVID-19 after 10 MONTHS of seeing NO positive results from all of them, including staying home, masking, and social distancing. The absolute worst thing for our immune system and our whole-mind-body-emotional-spiritual-well-being is living in fear, staying home (non-exposure to germs and loneliness), masking (breathing in your own air, trapping viruses and bacteria into a dirty moist cloth, continuously placing something non-sterile against our mouths and noses; not to mention all the lack of smiles and the loss of non-verbal connection between humans), and social distancing (loss of healing human contact)! Do you really believe that doing these things long term are good for you? How is that even possible? It seems to me more likely that these mandates are purposely BAD for our health, causing us to be more dependent on doctors, drugs and of course the vaccine. A brand new not-tested-enough vaccine that uses a technology that is unknown as to how it will affect our bodies, our genetics, and our future generations.

So, do I trust the new vaccine? No, I do not. Am I against it being mandatory? Absolutely. Does that make me against all vaccines? Not necessarily. Am I telling you not to take it? Absolutely not. Will I take it? No! And I hope I am not forced to. I also do not think this will be the end game that brings us back to “normal,” which is the motivation for so many people to run and get the vaccine. 

I hope this post gave you some insight into why I feel the way I feel. It took me a really long time, and a lot of editing to write this, as it's a very delicate and tricky topic. (See my disclaimer below.)  I truly believe that my experiences together with my ability to write and verbalize how I feel deems me responsible to share this information. I know I will get flack from some in the medical industry, and also from those who really want to believe that the western medical system and our government are truly looking out for our best interests. But it's ok to question and research things if they don't feel right.

So what can we do? 

I don't want to end this post on a negative vibe, so I'm planning on doing a part II where I talk about some basic things everyone can do to improve their lives, their health, and their general well being, despite whatever else is going on in the world. Stay posted!


This post is NOT to give medical advice or tell anyone what to do regarding the vaccine! This post is to share my own personal experiences and opinions, and also to open people's eyes to new ideas that may be helpful to them. It's up to each individual to assess their own situation and do their own research. 

I am not against all doctors. Some of our best friends are doctors who are amazing and intelligent people who truly want to help others. A lot of the issues I have are with the system in which doctors are indoctrinated, but not necessarily with the individuals who work for or within these systems, who truly believe they are helping humanity. 

I also believe that G-d is in charge and there are many different ways of healing in this world. What works for me may not work for you. I understand that in certain cases it is required to go to a doctor. I also do not claim to know more about Western medicine than doctors. I believe in living a healthy lifestyle to keep well, but if G-d gives someone an illness that is beyond their control, they should definitely seek a doctor's help, as well as alternative methods of healing and well being.

In the end this is G-d's world and everything that is happening is part of His plan. Let's pray that our worst fears actually are just conspiracy theories and that all will be well soon!


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  1. Thank you for sharing your journey. Many years ago, I also became aware of pharmaceutical scam using us. Your journey proves the importance of being informed and educated about alternatives and options. Thank G-d you have the brain not to swallow things easily but pause for a second and do your own research ! Kuddos for that. Looking forward to read second part

  2. Well said! Thanks for sharing :)

  3. Thanks for sharing! I’m in complete agreement and my husband thinks I’m crazy. 🤦‍♀️

  4. Clearly you do not know anything about the procedures or technology that has been used to advance this vaccine. For example, the mRNA technology is not new - it’s been around for over 30 years and has been proven to have no severe effects. The SARS vaccine has been studied and a work in progress since the outbreaks in 2003 and 2013. You’re entitled to your opinion, but when you base them off of blatant falsities, you’re subjecting yourself and others to harm.

    1. Here are some quick resources you can turn to, and I'm happy to provide you with more.


      Additionally, while this isn't brand new, new medical technology does not always have to be frightening, although I totally get while I can be. For example, abulterol was not available for patients with asthma until the 1980s. Before it became available, thousands of kids died from asthma - but it now saves the lives of many many kids. This is the amazing benefits of scientific advances!

      It is so important to do your research and ask questions, especially when making decisions for your family - You are amazing for doing that. But please make sure to inform yourself fully before using your platform.

  5. Wow I read this word by word and I’ll be honest it’s what iv been saying since April and it’s great to read such a healthy way of thinking

  6. I love love love this article thank u so much for taking the time to write it I can imagine it was a lot of work and emotional energy! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said! One of my children kept getting ear infections and I did research just like you and did not give meds. I’m so thankful to ppl like you who opened my eyes I feel like I gave my kids the greatest gift of trying to prevent giving meds only when necessary. I love Sarno book too it’s unreal! And I love how you finished off with Hashem. He is the ultimate healer may he protect us all! Thank you again love tzipora