Florida In Crisis? My Covid Story

Hey everyone! I hope you've all been well. I'm here to share my Covid story. 

Butterfly mask by @mlwdesignny

I know you've all been hearing about our Covid crisis here in Florida, and the first thing I'd like to say is that we are (mostly) fine! But more on that later. 

I'm not really great at exact dates or anything like that, but let's just say this story starts in that "ok" time around May, when the New York numbers were starting to thankfully come down, and here in Florida, we were starting to open up, and our numbers were just fine. There was this ray of hope in the air. We had all been waiting for the Florida spike for a while and it wasn't really happening, so we were kind of just feeling a bit hopeful that things would get better from here on in.

My eldest daughter and her family had come down to Florida to get away from the frigid and dreary weather in Chicago, especially since her kids were not in school. Of course she didn't come to our house. She rented her own house about 25 minutes away and we tried to be cautious with distancing when she first arrived.

But after a few days we all just chilled and decided to enjoy this little silver lining in all the craziness going on in the world. My kids and grandkids were close by! And this brought immense joy to our lives during a time when we were mourning the loss of our previously very social lives.

The plan was that my daughter and her family would stay in our area for 6 weeks and then go to Orlando for a few more weeks, and then go back to Chicago for the summer. It was truly a blessing. We were able to distract ourselves from the craziness of the world, and hang out with our kids and grandkids. We swam, went on bike rides, and barbecued.

Toward the end of their stay, my husband, who had been spending a lot of time in the pool with the kids, started to develop ear pain. At first, we chalked it up to swimmers ear. He went to his doctor who diagnosed him with an ear infection, and he was put on antibiotics.

It was at that time that the Covid cases in Florida had just started rising. It was about 5 weeks after we opened up. But we didn't even think for one second it was Covid-19. But just to be cautious, he decided to get tested, as he wasn't going to shul in order to be careful.

The interesting part was that when he went to get tested he was already cleared by his doctor as being better and was in fact feeling better. But to our utter surprise his test came back positive. We were shocked. He didn't have any Covid symptoms! Like the good man that he is, he made a commitment to quarantine for two weeks. I was told by my doctor friend that I need not quarantine. That I could still go grocery shopping and bike riding, but I should assume that I could be a silent carrier and to be extra cautious, wear my mask, and keep a distance from people. No biggie. I was already doing that. I made sure to not go to my yoga classes for two weeks and to only go out if necessary.

I did go on a bike ride one day, and I found it a bit difficult. I had to stop several times and my speed was slow, but I chalked it up to the fact that it was 100 degrees that day and I was riding at high noon! The next day I felt a little "funky". I had some stomach issues, which for me are not so uncommon, and my head felt a little woozy. I was also a bit more tired than usual. 

That feeling lasted a couple of days. But I did not have fever, and I kept thinking if I wasn't paranoid about being exposed to Covid I probably wouldn't have noticed anything.

After we finished the 2 week quarantine, we went out to get antibody tests and we both came back positive for antibodies!

So....with great gratitude to Hashem, our Covid experiences were very mild....and quite interesting. It's amazing how each person experiences Covid differently. And that's one of the reasons why it's so difficult to feel secure during this crisis.

I had been posting a lot on Facebook about how mild the symptoms are for most people and that people should stop being afraid. To me, the fear mongering had been the most dangerous part of what had been going on. But, after being told by a friend that my posts were insulting to people who were really suffering with Covid, or people who had lost loved ones, I toned it down and shut my mouth.

Listen...I have my own personal opinions about this whole thing. But this post is not about sharing statistics or getting political, or talking about conspiracy theories. Even though I do believe that we may be overreacting based on the percentage of deaths, and that masks may not be protecting us and others as much as we are being told they are. 

As a matter of fact...if you are in fact interested in seeing a video that shows actual scientific studies about the effectiveness of masks you can click this link HERE. 

But for those of you who would rather not, that's fine too.

So, I'm not entirely convinced they help as much as we are being told they do, but I am willing to wear them on the chance that they do. And I'm not going to be a Karen about it! (OMG...even being a Sharon is difficult these days. I'll go into Starbucks and give my name, and through the mask they always hear "Karen." I'm like, NO! I'm Sharon, not Karen! But I digress.)

As far as Florida in crisis? Yes, we are now having a crazy spike. And yes, our hospitals are full, but thankfully not overwhelmed. And people seem to be recovering. Thank G-d! But keep in mind that tons of people are running out to get tested now. Everyone that has a sniffle, everyone that thinks they were exposed, and people who are just curious because of the spike itself. 

If I wouldn't know about the numbers? I wouldn't actually feel like we are spiking. Here in Palm Beach County, the stores and restaurants are still open. My favorite gym, Yoga Joint, is still open, although, I just heard that the Yoga Joints in Broward County are requiring people to wear mask in the hot rooms during classes. (Say what??? Talk about elevating the challenge!) People seem to be out and about, on the beaches, walking, biking, shopping. And yes, people are complying and wearing masks indoors, and there are many that are wearing them outdoors too. It seems...we are (mostly) fine. 

Just a regular day walking on the beach.

So here's what I'm going to say: I think for most people, Covid-19 will not be so bad. But for some it will be. And it's for those people that we need to be sensitive...even if you believe your rights are being infringed upon and that the government is overreacting or even trying to control the situation for political reasons. I could definitely go there...believe me! But what I have learned, above all, is to be a little bit more sensitive to others and how they need to deal with all of this. Even though the act of accepting our differences is in itself a bit isolating. It is not easy for anyone right now. Besides for the fear of physical illness, there are huge mental health repurcussions from what's going on. Our world has changed and social distancing, although we can justify it away as acting out of kindness, is extremely difficult for humans.

As I wrote in my latest Instagram post

    "One of the hardest parts about what’s going on these days is this constant feeling of isolation. And I’m not even talking about “quarantine” which most people are out of. First of all we need to acknowledge that there has been a major shift in the way we interact with people and that in and of itself... keeping a physical distance, no hugging, a constant and acute awareness of touching things that others have touched... these are all social changes that can have strong negative affects on the human psyche. Especially now with the knowledge that this is not just a temporary situation... ouch. And another aspect of feeling isolation is realizing that so many people who used to be likeminded, may feel so strongly...and differently... than us. That realization can almost feel like a sense of abandonment. I think it’s really important we acknowledge that this new reality can be extremely painful... and we may be feeling very lonely even if we see our friends from even just a few feet away. It’s just not the same. And those feelings are valid and real. The key is to realize we are all feeling this way TOGETHER. May Hashem heal this world ASAP because we are social beings and we need to connect! So let’s do our best to connect in the ways we can: By offering help to others, reaching out to friends with kind words, and being supportive of other people’s choices even if we don’t agree with them..."

Try this: Make sure you do something that makes you happy every single day, get out of your head (and the news) and do something for another, and know that every day that you're healthy is a blessed gift!

Wishing you all loads of health, peace of mind, and love,

Sharon 

How To Calm a Middle of the Night Panic Attack in Under 5 Minutes

Life got real weird, real fast...no?

Just a month ago, even though we already knew about the deadly Caronavirus: Covid-19, we were fine! Weren't we? It was just a bad virus and we would get through it. No need to panic.

Back in the day, (a month ago feels like a lifetime ago!) I wrote a post on Facebook telling people to go about their lives and not to panic, because it's not good for our immune systems, and I got blasted by some that I was doing people a disservice by downplaying the pandemic that was about to hit our shores. Someone actually commented, "This post will not age well."

Unfortunately, it is way worse than I thought it would be. But, I have no regrets for trying to create calm. Especially now, with the entire world shut down, without an end in sight, and so many of our loved ones getting sick, we need more than anything, to create calm. Because the fear of the unknown is its own infectious disease. And it's infecting all of us.

This past Friday night, the 2nd shabbos that shul was cancelled here, I slept fitfully. I woke up several times, once with chills and a rush of fear, worried that I had a fever...only to realize that someone jacked up my AC, and my room was freezing.

Actually, I had been waking up pretty much every night and every morning that entire week with immense fear: What if I was going to die? After all, I'm 51! A month ago I had been jokingly comparing myself to JLo, and now my brain was screaming, "What!? Are you dumb? You're not as young as you think you are!!" (Isn't it lovely how kind our self dialogue can be?)

One night I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe while trying to fall asleep. Of course the fight or flight part of my brain switched on, screaming: "OMG this is it, it's Corona!" Fortunately, the sane part of my brain sent a quick memo saying, "Hey! Yoohoo! Hello!...CALM THE F DOWN! You don't have fever, you feel fine, you're not coughing. This is just your friendly, everyday panic attack...RELAX!"

And, knowledge is power. A panic attack loses a lot of its force when you are aware of what you're dealing with, and you know you can defeat it.  Which is why I decided to write this post and share my own personal tools and steps for getting through it. We have no idea how to defeat COVID-19, but we can definitely win the war against the evil PA! (panic attack)

So what exactly is a panic attack? (Or any anxiety or fear for that matter.) It's when our minds get stuck in a traumatic past or a terrible imagination of the future, and for all intents and purposes, it reacts as if whatever happened in the past or the terrible ways we imagine the future, are actually happening right now.

Once the fight or flight reaction begins, the body secretes a ton of adrenaline and cortisol. Now, this is great if we're ACTUALLY under real attack.  But if it's...say...3 am, and we're safe in our beds, and all of these chemicals are being secreted because we remember what we watched on CNN, or we are making up stories of a terrible future...well, then, it's pretty much the worst feeling in the world.

The good news is, there are things you can do to calm down your parasympathetic nervous system in under 5 minutes. YES. This is a fact.

By now, most people know that taking deep breaths is the best way to calm down your brain and body. The problem with this, is that in a panicked state of mind, even while you're trying to take those breaths, it not only doesn't always feel like it's helping, but to some it may even cause them to feel worse, or hopeless, if the relief is not instant.  Unless we have practiced this with at least some positive result, our brains give us a hard time, especially in a state of fight or flight, believing that nothing will help us at all. That is why panic attacks are so scary.

But you CAN get ahead of them!

Before we get to my how-to's, it's very important to integrate the following idea in a time of relative calm...say, like right now, while you're relaxing and reading this post:

It is scientifically proven that deep breathing...or simply slowing down and focussing on your breath, is the shortcut that will calm down your parasympathetic nervous system, reaching the part of your brain that's in fight or flight, way faster, and less energy-depleting than trying to rationalize away your fears. 

This pre-existing knowledge is what Gedale Fenster, would call "da'as," or "da'at", which loosely means "a learned knowledge of helpful information," that helps us deal with our challenges in a positive way.

OK. So now that we all have integrated that important information, I'm going to go through the steps I personally take to get myself out of panic mode.  These are the things that have helped me. But, everyone is different, so whatever feels right or good for you to try is great, and whatever doesn't, that's OK too. But, I figured if these powerful tools help me so much, why not share them? Right?

Also, I'd like to note that some of the tools I use I learned from the book: The 60 Second Fix by Regalena Melrose, Ph.D. If you guys have never heard of Somatic Experiencing, and suffer from anxiety, PTSD, or any trauma at all, this is an easy book you may want to read.

That being said, this is how I calm a middle of the night panic attack in under 5 minutes:

Step 1: Awareness

Let's say, I wake up, and as soon as my brain becomes aware, I feel it. That horrible flood of adrenaline and cortisol coursing through my body. The "monkey chatter" in my brain begins as if someone undid the floodgates of fearful and upsetting thoughts, and within a few seconds I know I'm at risk of getting washed away with them. At that very moment I simply become AWARE of what is going on and I define it without attaching anything dramatic to it: "This is just anxiety. My body is secreting chemicals that are causing me to feel this way."

Step 2: Deep Inhale

Once I have awareness, I have enough brain space to remind myself to begin taking deep breaths. I do not think, "Will this work?", and I do not worry about the technicalities or the how-tos. I just start inhaling deeply, because I already know this WILL begin to shutter the floodgates of fear.

Step 3: Focus Your Breath

Now I can put my focus on my breath. Inhale for 5, feel the breath go all the way down to the belly, hold for 3-5 seconds, exhale the breath all the way out for 8. Or, find your own pattern that feels calming to you.

Step 4: Somatic Anchoring

I can now control and direct my thoughts a bit more easily. At this point, I will anchor my feet down into my mattress, and/or focus on feeling the support and comfort of my mattress and pillow connecting to my body and head. This is part of Somatic Healing, and it works because it "anchors" you into the current moment with your focus on your current physical comforts.

Step 5: Affirmations

Once your focus is on a current comfort or support, you can start to say silently or out loud, "I am safe in this moment." or "I am healthy in this moment." or "I am grateful for the comfort of my bed." Or whatever other mantra you feel like saying that will continue to anchor you into the present, safe moment.

Step 6: Stay Present with Gratitude

You should be starting to feel a little better now. Continue with the breathing, the mantras and affirmations, and see if you can move your thoughts into gratitude for whatever is good in the current moment. The key is to stay anchored in the present as much as possible. If you get pulled back into "monkey brain" just refocus and start over. It's a practice like anything else, and it does get easier and more instinctive over time..

Step 7: Shift to Recovery

For me, sometimes I'll shift into meditation mode, get tired, and fall asleep. That's the best case scenario. But many times that doesn't work. Sometimes I need to get up and just accept that I'm not going to fall back asleep right away, but at least I'm calm enough to go do something distracting, or I'll talk to G-d and pray. But either way, I'm no longer panicking.

I hope these steps have helped you. If they seem difficult at first, or as if they are not working, just keep trying. It's like learning a new language, and before you know it, you will see that you CAN calm yourself down.

This entire experience is a huge reminder that we really have no control over anything, except how we respond to the craziness going on around us. And as Gedale Fenster says, "There is a great power in powerlessness." Our greatest fears and pain come from the illusion that we have any control at all, or that things "should" be a certain way. Once we give over all of our control to the one and only "Controller," and accept that what is happening, is for a reason that we cannot see, then we can just let it all go.

So keep the faith, keep on breathing, and remember, we're all in this together. Please share your ideas on how you're staying calm during this harrowing time via email, or on my Instagram page.

Sending calming thoughts,

xx

Sharon

Blogger/Certified Life Coach

For a confidential appointment via phone or FaceTime, email me.

Next up...What Are We Supposed To Be Doing Now??

A Chat With A Holistic Nutritionist You Definitely Want to Read

Dear Readers: 

 If you already received this post via email, I apologize for the duplicate. We needed to fix some technical errors and repost. If you haven't yet read the post, I highly recommend you take the time to do so. Not only is it a fun chat with a good friend, it is chock full of really important information regarding holistic health and wellness. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

It was the first Shabbos in my new neighborhood in Boca Raton, and as I walked into shul, I noticed her right way. Tall and thin, with a huge, open smile radiating out to her adorable young daughter, I felt Henya's positive energy immediately and wondered if we'd be friends. And friends indeed we became.

We immediately connected over similar backgrounds, and cultural experiences. Our kids, who went though similar experiences as well, connected too. Over the next two and half years we shared thousands of WhatsApp and re-life conversations, meals together, countless bike rides including riding in Tour de Simcha together, joint creative projects, and some funny drunken 80's karaoke nights.

I often discussed health and nutrition with Henya, a Certified Holistic Nutritionist and ACE certified personal trainer, and would pay attention during our many conversations with our doctor friends. She always presented intelligent, and updated scientific data that made a lot of sense to me. Besides for being a fun friend, I grew to know her as a pretty smart chick when it came to holistic nutrition, wellness and even healthy culinary skills!

After years of trying everything and always struggling, I realized that if anyone could unlock the complex secret of how a woman of my age could possibly get rid of those increasing pounds, inflammation, and an annoying middle-age bloated belly, it was her!

So on this past New Year's Eve, with way too many tequila shots flowing through my veins, I asked her to please help me.

Now don't get me wrong. Up until that point, I had too much pride to "hire" Henya. I had been a self-educated, know-it-all dieter my entire adult life. Before I hit 45 I knew how to diet my way down to the weight I wanted to be, but it was mostly painful and unhealthy, physically, emotionally and mentally. And I was usually far from fit.

But after 45? Well, that was an entirely different story. I began to feel my age. I had less energy and my moods were out of control. And the weight gain wasn't just regular weight; it was a lot of bloat and inflammation. Often my face would be swollen in the morning and my belly would be round and protruding in the evening. And the worst part was that it seemingly had very little to do with how much I exercised (usually a lot), or how much I ate (usually not a lot).

No matter what I tried on my own, nothing worked for long. I just didn't understand how complicated it was to achieve and maintain that fine balance of health and wellness at my age. I had pretty much come to terms with the fact the I would never get even my old, imperfect, but better body back. Which is fine, I guess. Right? We're supposed to accept ourselves as we are.  But, I'm a warrior against decline in aging, and I really didn't like that I wasn't feeling good inside and out. It was time to surrender my pride to the person who I knew would understand the many factors involved in getting, and staying healthy and youthful as I got older.

And those weren't the only things Henya understood. Although it may not be evident by the way she looks today, she has experienced her own journey and struggles the area of health and fitness, which is what led her to her career to begin with, as you will read below in our chat. I have seen for myself that she too has to work hard to stay fit and healthy and is completely empathetic to the various issues that many of us struggle with.

So that New Year's eve, Henya reluctantly agreed to work with me. (Reluctantly, only because she knows how much I loved to drink!)

Being silly New Year's Eve 2020

She warned me it would be a lot of hard work, and I would have to listen to everything she told me. I'd have to cut down on my alcohol to almost none (gasp!), take a whole bunch of vitamins and supplements, and I'd have to take a saliva hormone test.

But, I was ready and I committed!

Since then I have lost more than half my goal weight, but more than that, my inflammation is down and I'm starting to look good in pictures again. (You may even start seeing more of me on social media now ;)

The one month difference!

But mostly, I feel way more energetic, way less sad and lethargic, way more youthful, and I hardly ever get "hangry" or "cravy". And just this morning, I noticed my hair was actually thicker and shinier.

Writing this, I know it all sounds like an ad for some magic weight loss pill. But the truth is, this is far from a shallow post about just weight loss, and it's far from magic. Henya creates extremely fine tuned, custom programs specifically for each individual client's needs and issues, based on real data and the most recent research. And it's all holistic, healthy, and extremely "feel-good."

And yes, I DO have to work hard and be diligent and organized. I do have to avoid many foods and shop organic, non-gmo, and prepare my foods carefully. I have to avoid eating out and drinking too much alcohol. I have to swallow all of my supplements and watch my FitBit, and make sure I burn enough calories everyday.

One of Henya's delicious, easy salads. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

So, no, it's not a magic pill at all. It's science and hard work. But I would have no idea how to do all of that myself, even if I was a know-it-all dieter who had already gone through every diet on the plate. The body is a very complicated machine. I'm glad I'm friends with such a smart chick!

So I give you my dear friend, Henya Lazar!

Photo property of @RealHealthFit

Sharon: OK. Let's start with some fun facts about yourself so my readers can get to know you better!

Tell us a little about your background.

Henya: I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, in the typical Jewish areas of Boro Park and Flatbush back in the 70's and 80's; but moved to Canada when I married my husband who is from Toronto. I lived there for about 20 years until I was pretty much a frozen block of ice and decided to move to Florida to thaw out! I'm obviously being overly dramatic but the cold really got to me.

S. I can totally relate! What do you like to do for fun?

H. I love to cook and bake healthy meals and desserts. The hard part is cleaning up the invariable tornado of a mess I make in the kitchen, but I recently started listening to audio books or podcasts at the same time which helps make the cleanup process easier.

I also love to bike ride outdoors, which I did in Toronto during the warmer months, but you got me on the real deal - a road bike - when you moved here, which I was always terrified to do! By promoting Tour de Simcha, you convinced me that a road bike wasn't as scary or as painful as I though it would be, and you were so right! People often assume it was the other way around, so I love sharing the real story. Anyway, my old hybrid bike is now sitting in my garage if anyone wants it.

TDS 2018

S. Yes! I love that we rode together in TDS! It's really cool that some sort of fitness inspiration came from me to you as opposed to the other way around. That makes me so proud. And you inspired me to get my FitBit and really up my ante when it comes to fitness on a daily basis.

I'm sure people often wonder what a nutritionist eats...what are some of your favorite foods?

H. I genuinely like all healthy food, but my favorites would have to be salmon nigiri or sushi rolls with salmon, avocado and green onion. I am also obsessed with dark chocolate covered almonds. I have such a weakness for dark chocolate covered anything: rice crisps, raisins, it doesn't really matter as long as it's crunchy (and organic of course!). Over the years, many well-meaning friends have misunderstood this chocolate love affair and bought me boxes of dark chocolate truffles as gifts...and I really don't like truffles at all. There is something about the texture, not to mention the additives and unhealthy ingredients. So, if you're reading this and at some point you bought me truffles - umm, I'm sorry? You're still an awesome friend, it's the thought that counts ;)

Henya's delicious, homemade chocolates. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

S. Haha! I really think people will love hearing about your weakness for chocolates! As you know, my chocolate is tequila. So if anyone wants to gift us...it's chocolate covered anything and tequila! No truffles :)

While we're on the subject of no-so-healthy choices, what are some of your favorite foods that you have given up?

H. Pizza and fries, although I wouldn't say I've given them up, just switched them over to healthier versions. I'll eat homemade gluten-free pizza with vegetables on occasion (I'm still trying to find kosher organic mozzarella!) And I'll make organic "fries" in an air fryer. But growing up I at a LOT of pizza and fries. There were a couple of famous pizza places in Flatbush where I would spend way too much of my babysitting money. The other thing I've given up, but at this point would taste really gross to me, are chocolate bars like Twix, KitKat, and believe it or not, Paskesz nougat bars. That one is a little embarrassing but what can I say, I used to have a serious sweet tooth for all kinds of unhealthy stuff.

S. Aaah, pizza and fries! Long lost friends :( I want your recipe for the healthy versions! I'm waiting with bated breath for you to write your cookbook.

H. Thanks for the vote of confidence, hopefully I'll get there someday!

S. What's something unexpected about you that would be surprising to most people?

H. People tend to think I am aloof in social situations, but the truth is I am kind of shy and awkward with people I'm not close with. It's gotten better over the years, but basically if you come over and talk to me I love it. It's much harder for me to make the first move. Although, I think I spoke to you first and introduced myself when I met you in shul! Another thing people find surprising and also hilarious is my terrible sense of direction...I could literally get lost going around the block.

S.  I'm really glad that your came over to me! I remember us connecting right away...we even went to you for impromptu cholent, and I remember thinking, aah these people are so cool. The cholent wars began from the start!

H. Haha, we will let the people decide...but both our cholents are great, and I can say that without bragging because I don't make mine, my husband does! (Although, I did tell him what NOT to put in it!)

S.  So yours is healthier! What else is new ;)

Tell us something that's on your bucket list.

H. Traveling to places like Spain, Italy, Greece, basically anywhere exotic that I haven't been to before, which is a lot of places! For now I am happy to live in Florida and go with my family to different beach destinations within driving distance.

S. Yes! Greece. One day we'll make it there :) And yes, we are so lucky we live in Florida.

H. Are we telling your readers that every Purim and Simchas Torah when you drink one too many tequilas you tell all your friends we are going to Greece and Steven is paying? Haha!

S. Well, I wasn't planning on it! But thanks for sharing ;) 

If you could have lunch with one person dead or alive, who would it be?

H. Oh, this is a tough question. There are a few but the one who comes to mind right now while we are talking about fitness and health is Tony Horton - the creator of P90X. He revolutionized home based fitness programs and he just fascinates me as a person, a trainer and a businessman. I also find him pretty funny, and I'll have lunch with anyone who makes me laugh. Plus I know he would be happy to eat somewhere healthy! I would probably suggest Fuego Mundo in Georgia - we ate there on the way from Toronto to Florida and it was honestly the most incredible kosher healthy restaurant I've ever been to. They have grass fed meats and yucca fries. OK, now I'm hungry just thinking about it. Forget Tony Horton, you and I should go there!

S. I'm down! Did someone say road trip?? When are we leaving? But first...

Tony Horton and Atlanta's Fuego Mundo

...let's get down to business...The Real Health Business. Now that we have a better picture of you as a person, I'm sure everyone wants to hear about what you do professionally, and also learn more about  holistic nutrition and wellness. With so much information out there in the health, nutrition, and wellness fields, it can all get confusing!

H. It definitely is confusing! I have an Honors BA (that's a Canadian distinction meaning a more rigorous undergrad program than a typical BA) in Kinesiology and Health Science. I am an Advanced Registered Holistic Nutritionist and Culinary Nutrition Expert, both of those are from Canada as well. I am also a Certified Personal Trainer, but I've moved a bit away from that these days and focus more on health and wellness.

Essentially my job is to help people live their lives in the most healthful way possible, including food choices and teaching how to cook healthy wholesome food, exercise, lifestyle habits such as quality sleep and getting rid of toxins from skin care and household products and even unnecessary medications.

Obviously there are no guarantees in life. We all know people who smoke and eat garbage and are fine, and also those who obsessively watch what they eat and exercise, but don't feel well. This is where things like genetics, how you deal with stress, and social factors come into play. That being said, I strongly believe that we have to try and do our part to make sure that we are doing things to improve our health as opposed to constantly being exposed to harmful products and habits. And this is a daily practice, moving upwards on what one of my mentors Josh Gitalis calls the "slope of health." Meaning, you aren't either completely healthy or completely unhealthy, but rather, on any given day, what choices are you making to move up or down the slope? This was a powerful lesson to me and one I try to implement with my clients.

S. I love that! It's kind of like the 2 steps forward, 1 step back concept. If we think in those terms we won't be hard on ourselves when we are not perfect.

So just to clarify, how does what you do set you apart from a general nutritionist?

H. That's a good question, because the term Nutritionist here in the U.S. is different than in Canada. For the most part, especially in some states like Florida, it means Registered Dietitian, which I am not, and I'm always very clear about that and the fact that I have no intention of becoming one. Registered Holistic Nutritionist as I mentioned, is a Canadian distinction that is either unknown or misunderstood here. While there is some overlap in both fields, we have a more holistic approach, and rely on quality vitamin and herbal supplements along with organic food wherever possible.

It falls under the category of alternative wellness and functional medicine, as opposed to following the American food guidelines and western medicine approach. You will never see a holistic nutritionist recommending splenda or artificial ingredients of any kind. We cannot wrap our collective heads around serving food dye and sugar filled jello in hospitals to sick patients!

S. I know! That's why what you do resonates so much with me personally. The holistic approach to wellness just makes so much sense. It's not only about "getting skinny" or taking meds. It's about a lifestyle, where being lean and fit is just happy side affect of living healthfully!

So, tell us, what got you interested in this field in the first place?

H. I was sick a lot as a teenager and into my early 20's. I had chronic headaches, debilitating digestive issues, eczema, got colds very frequently, and had severe anxiety as well. I had no intention of getting into this field at all. (I started college as a computer programming major!) At the time, I went from doctor to doctor and after all the tests came back normal, was either told my physical symptoms were "in my head" or that I needed to take different medications depending on what my symptoms of the day were. Nobody ever asked me what I ate or what time I went to sleep at night. If they did, they would have learned I was drinking 3 to 4 cups of coffee a day, eating tons of sugar, maybe a vegetable every other day  and going to sleep around 1:30 am. Let that sink in for a minute...numerous doctors and nobody asked me what I was eating?

It was meeting with several holistic practitioners that changed all of that. My anxiety decreased by 80% simply by cutting out soda and caffeine...seems so obvious now, but back then I simply didn't make the connection. Probiotics and a change in diet drastically helped my gut health - I still get digestive discomfort, but only when I am not careful with what I eat, and for me that is different than it might be for someone else. I wanted to learn more and in turn help other people.

S. Thanks for sharing that! I feel like this is a really important factor in what you do. A lot of people don't realize what you have gone through personally, and I think this information makes you relatable and adds a certain comfort factor for your clients. 

What are the main goals you have for your clients?

H. When a client tells me she feels better, has more energy, better skin, lost weight, whatever the specific issue was, it makes me happy!

S. I know! And it's totally different for every client. I was so excited to use the meal plan you created for me. So many people who want to get healthy and lose weight feel like there's nothing to eat. Tell us about how you come up with your original recipes.

H. I am really good at taking an unhealthy recipe and modifying the ingredients to make it good for you, wholesome and still taste great. I am not a chef, but I learned a tremendous amount about delicious, healthy recipes and cooking from the Academy of Culinary Nutrition.

S. Yes! You recently completed their program and became a Culinary Nutrition Expert and started giving cooking classes too. Which is great for the moms out there who are struggling with coming up with wholesome meal ideas that everyone in their families will love.

Henya sharing her skills at one of her recent cooking classes. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

Can you explain to us why it's so important to understand concepts like GMO and organic food, and why that's just as important to our health and fitness as how much food we eat?

H. The sheer number of pesticides, fungisides and GMOs used in growing food today is staggering. Add that to the toxins in beauty products and household cleaning products and it's no wonder people get sick so often. Our immune systems simply cannot handle it. We also have no clue of the long term effects of GMOs, and if you do the research, like in this article, there really is no benefit to them. While organic food isn't perfect, it does drastically lower the exposure to all of those things while also, in most cases, increasing the nutritional value of our food. For more on that, check out this amazing resource at the Environmental Working Group, a non-profit, no-partisan organization dedicated to protecting human health and the environment. 

S. It's really scary if you think about it! But, what you taught me was instead of getting overwhelmed with all of it, to just start being more aware of the ingredients and information on packages, and slowly replace the unhealthy food and products as they run out. There's no need panic and throw everything out at once. Even small slow changes make a difference.

What is your favorite part about what you do?

H. Listening to people's health challenges and trying to figure out the best way to help.

S. You're really good at that! What is the worst part?

H. Not being able to reach people who are too afraid and/or find it too difficult or overwhelming to make the necessary changes to improve th quality of their life. Watching them go down the slope of health I talked about earlier, and knowing there is nothing I can say to convince them to try an alternative approach. That's hard, but I've learned that not everyone will agree with me or what I do, and that's OK.

S. Sure. I hear that. 

What are some of your dreams and goals for the future of Real Health Fit?

H. I have a few and G-d willing I'll have enough hours in the day to implement them. My priority is and always will be my family, which B"H includes 4 kids, ages 12-19.

So, I'll keep those future goals under wraps for now except for one, which I am excited about us doing  together! You're an exceptional Life Coach and people need to hear more from you, that's why I am happy we are working on an awesome Health and Wellness Retreat together.

S. Thank you! And yes, I am super excited about that. So, dear readers, stay posted for more on that soon, and Henya, thank you so much for being with us today. I hope this conversation will inspire more people to walk down the path of holistic health and nutrition.

TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HENYA, CONTACT HER HERE OR EMAIL HER AT INFO@REALHEALTHFIT.COM

HENYA SEES BOTH LOCAL AND LONG DISTANCE CLIENTS, SO DON'T BE SHY TO REACH OUT!

FOR GREAT NUTRITION TIPS, FOOD IDEAS AND A FURTHER GLIMPSE INTO HER LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES, FOLLOW HENYA ON INSTAGRAM @REALHEALTH FIT.

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How To Build A Vessel

Last week I took a little trip to New York to spend some quality time with some friends from my Jersey days. My talented Interior Designer friend, Margalit, recommended that we check out the newly refurbished Hudson Yards neighborhood on the West Side of Manhattan, featuring the recently opened "Vessel". 

This was all very karmic to me, because I had just been considering writing about the Kabbalistic concept of "vessel building." 

Although, I by no means claim to be an authority on the subject, (see more about this at Chabad.org,) I wanted to share what I have gleaned from listening to my daily classes by Gedale Fenster*, for over a year, in the most simple terms possible, as I understand them, and as they have helped me, in the hopes that they will also help you to convert your challenges, and even your traumas, into strong vessels for the receiving of light, joy, and meaning into your life.

So, with that being said, and with only the best and holy intentions, I ask Hashem to help me find the correct and pure words to share this information.

Here we go:

Let's start first with the world "Kabbala", which literally means "receiving." We are all searching for ways to live joyful and meaningful lives...to receive Hashem's infinite light.  The problem is that if we are not prepared to receive, we end up missing the "flow", or even blocking it from coming into our lives.

Imagine you're in a desert and you're dying of thirst. All of the sudden it starts raining, so you quickly open your mouth to receive as much water as possible. But it's not enough. Your mouth alone is not enough to receive the amount of water you need. You will need to figure out how to create a vessel large enough to catch the rainwater and quench your thirst.

We are all "dying of thirst" when it comes to yearning to understand why we are here, why we have to go through what we're going through, and how to find meaning, and ultimately joy and satisfaction in our day to day existence.

The problem is, we are each plopped into this world without an adequate vessel. And as we grow up and live our lives, we have experiences that don't make sense and even hurt us. For most of us we carry this pain far into adulthood, leaving us tired, angry, sad, confused and lost. We busy ourselves with loads of meaningless distractions like empty entertainment, overindulgence of food, obsession with body, substances, bad relationships  etc. just to survive. We are all so thirsty, many of us feeling depressed or anxious much of the time.

The good news is, at all times there is an abundance of light and goodness raining down upon us, and it is infinite and endless. After all it's from G-d! We just aren't able to perceive and receive it yet.

So how do we build that vessel big enough to receive the light and meaning we are all searching for? 

Let's start at the beginning. Before Hashem created the world, His light was Ein Sof (endless), but the materialistic aspects of the universe were not able to receive all of it, and therefore, it shattered into "shards" that were spread all over the universe.  Now, through this "breaking of the vessel" came about all the darkness that is also a part of our world. Including all of our challenges, pain and trauma. 

So first, let's understand that this is the formula of creation. Through constriction and concealment comes light.  And creation is happening at all times. Here are some examples:

Before a baby is born, it has to travel through an extremely painful constriction for both the mother and the baby.

Before a tree can grow, a seed has to go deep into the dark earth, break apart, and only then begin to grow.

Before a butterfly can roam freely, it has to almost die and then go through a period of constriction inside a cocoon.

And before we can live unconditionally joyous lives, full of meaning and without fear and anxiety, we all have to go through our own personal challenges, custom made just for us, offering the opportunity to choose between victimhood and misery, or getting up, brushing ourselves off, and building that vessel.  

Get it?

Ready to get building? Here we go...

1. GRATITUE

Thank Hashem for everything! Even your biggest problems. 

The first time I met with Gedale Fenster, he told me to thank Hashem for my problems, and focus on the good things that came out of them. I was like, "Wait a minute! I think I'm doing so great because I focus on the good stuff in my life." (But I was still crying about the things I wasn't so happy about.) But no! He told me to take it to the next level and actually work on gratitude for the bad stuff. And you know what? Soon I was able to see the things that had actually changed for the better because of the situation I was so miserable about. 

Being grateful for your hardships may seem difficult in the beginning, but now you know that, like all good things that begin through concealment, your hardships may be the catalyst for a chain of events that is already bringing great light into your life. Maybe if you look hard enough you can already see it. Now you are beginning to build your vessel! 

But how do you really know it will work? Well, that leads to the next step:

2. FAITH AND TRUST

Don't just have faith, have complete and utter trust that everything will work out. You need to start training your brain to give over every bit of fear and anxiety to G-d.  Say confidently,  and loudly, "I totally trust in You that you have a plan that I can't see right now. And I know it's for my best and I thank you for this!" 

Try saying this when people ask you how you are, or how a certain situation is, "Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, and I'm totally confidant everything is going to work out even better than I expect." Watch not only how your reality changes, but also the reaction of others. 

The other day I said something similar to a friend, and she called me 15 minutes later to tell me she "had a spring in her step" because she decided to try the same attitude about a worry she was having and now she felt amazing. At the time, I had no clue I had an impact on her, as I was only trying to work on my own attitude. But do you see how these "good vibes" spread around, literally changing the world, in an instant of shared faith? 

Still don't believe it? Fake it until you make it. Affirmations work!

Remember? Some guy decided he wanted to build a structure like nothing ever built before on the West Side of Manhattan, and now it exists! Imagine if he never opened his mouth because he didn't really believe it could happen! 

Which leads to the next step in the formula:

3. PRAYER

For goodness sake, pray! 

I know, I know, prayer is hard. Trust me, I avoided it for like 50 years! The way davening was taught to me personally was not conducive to authentic connection to G-d. But now that  I realize that using our voice is one of the crucial steps to actually creating our realities, and that words have tremendous power, I decided to approach prayer differently. And it gets easier every day. Now, I can't live without it.

So here are my tips for getting started with prayer: 

Start by taking a few minutes a day to just meditate on the idea of G-d being your biggest fan, and wanting desperately to have a relationship with you. Then just start talking to Him. Can't think of anything to say? How about, "Help!" That's a great start!

If you're ready to open a siddur. Start with something easy and doable, like the morning blessings. And just try to focus on the words that stand out for you. Like a word search puzzle. On most days I'll focus on words like Boruch (Blessed), Chesed (kindness) and Rachamim (mercy). As I say those words I focus on bringing down blessings, kindness, and mercy into the world and into my life. In this way, my prayer has a more meaningful and practical purpose and I can truly connect with G-d's infinite light and energy. 

And, by now, I don't have to tell you what that's doing. Yup, it's building a vessel. 

4. HUMILITY

The ego loves getting in the way and blocking out all of that gorgeous, delicious light that's flying towards you at all times. In the beginning it may feel a bit counter intuitive, but try humbling yourself when you're feeling at your worst. Just close your eyes and meditate on the ideas that everything is as it should be, that you're not really entitled to anything, so whatever you have is a bonus, that you don't really know everything and can't see the big picture, and that your self worth comes from G-d and no one else. That's called acceptance. And before you know it...woosh...you're at peace and fully unblocked. There you go...your vessel is now wide open!

And finally, when you feel ready, here is the ultimate step to completing your vessel:

5. PURPOSE

Use your pain to help others. Your unique experiences, growth and knowledge will help others in a way that no one else can. Which is exactly why I decided to write this post!

And don't get discouraged! These things take practice and time, and there will be tests along the way. But things will get better! Trust me on this :)

As far as our city day, Margalit and I had a great time catching up and discussing design, architecture and manifesting our dreams. We were both in awe of how all of this came out of architect Thomas Heatherwick and his colleagues' brains...building from the raw material of their imagination and then elevating it all into the creation of this unique landmark that would not only be beautiful to look at, but gather people together and take them "from nowhere to the sky." 

Talk about elevating raw material for a higher purpose. Now, that's how you build a vessel. 

-Sharon

Please let me know if you enjoyed this post, and if so please share the link with your friends! If you have any comments or suggestions you can leave a comment below on the blog or email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Don't forget to sign up (top right side of this blog page) to receive my posts straight to your inbox! 

*Gedale Fenster speaks daily on Rabbi Nachman of Breslov's teachings. He sometimes throws in some Kabbalistic concepts. If you'd like to be added to the WhatsApp of his daily classes please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Victim or Victor?

Life can be brutal at times. The question is not about which incidents happen throughout life, it's about what happens to you throughout life. Have your disappointments, losses, and even traumas turned you into a victim, or have you pulled yourself up, pushed on, and not only survived; but thrived and become a victor?

I first heard the line: "Be a victor not a victim,"  from Gedale Fenster. I really love the line because when all is said and done, when facing trials and tribulations, we ultimately have one choice or another of how to proceed down the road of life. And trust me, there really is only one path to redemption. The other paths will only land us at that brick wall of desperation, depression, anxiety and fear. I know this because, as an "explorer", I have traveled down some of those paths...the ones where you get angry at G-d, resentful towards people, unbelieving, untrusting, wary, weary, rebellious, and indifferent. And do you know what all those paths have in common? You end up smashing your head into a brick wall. And that hurts!

As difficult as it may seem at first, what is way less "hard", is to simply look inward and change yourself. Through the practice (and yes, it is a practice) of changing our thoughts, our attitudes, and our perceptions, we can literally "reframe" our lives, becoming stronger, wiser and happier with what we have. Which opens ourselves wide up to attracting not only the solutions we were so long seeking, but also, the hidden blessings lurking in the shadows of our "problems" that we weren't even able to previously see.  Now doesn't that sound so much better than bashing our heads over and over again by trying to change the people around us, the uncontrollable circumstance surrounding us, and even G-d Himself.

So who's ready to go from victim to victor?

Let's start right now!

Below I'm going to go over 13 practical ways to achieve this new attitude, taken from the book, 13 Things Mentally Smart People Don't Do, by Amy Moran, which was the basis of Gedale Fenster's recent Wednesday night class.

Click to buy

Here we go:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

chabad.org

Believe me, you are not the only one with problems. Why is it that some people with really massive problems seem to be happy and have a great attitude, while others whine about even the smallest things? It's not because some people are stronger than others; it's because the former refuse to sit in self pity, while the latter bathe in it fully. When we feel sorry for ourselves we place our minds into a cycle of negative thinking based on our past and fearing our future, which magnetizes our worst fears and traumas, bringing them to life in every moment, way past the time they happened or before they may ever happen, missing all the beautiful present moments.

2. Stop blaming others.

The act of blaming others, or even allowing others to impact our moods, days, and lives, is basically handing over our power to other people and circumstances. Set boundaries and stop giving away your power! You get to decide what you allow to affect you. And if you don't like something, take responsibility, learn from it, and move on.

3. Don't be afraid of change.

Change is good. Life is continually changing, so just dive in and embrace it. Feels scary? Good! That means you're exercising your spiritual and mental growth muscles!

4. Stop trying to control the things you can't control.

If you can fix it, then by all means fix it. If you can't, then just pray and release it to G-d.

5. Stop trying to please everyone.

Oh, I used to be an expert at this one. Not at actually pleasing everyone, but trying to. It doesn't work. Be authentic, be kind, take care of yourself, and if people aren't happy with you, it's none of your business. (Unless, of course you actually did something wrong and hurt someone, then it's good to own it and apologize. But not when someone has an issue with you just "doing you". )

6. Stop being afraid to take risks.

Life is scary. Anything can happen. Which means, yes, anything CAN happen. So if you want something in your life, take the risk and make it happen!

7. Don't dwell on the past.

Why is it that we often find ourselves watching a never-ending loop of the movie of our past mistakes and traumas over and over? It's because that's where the Yetzer Horah (evil inclination) tries to trap us in order to stop us from living in the present moment, therefore preventing us from moving forward. Forget it. It's over. Move on. Every single day G-d re-creates the world for us...so leave the past where it belongs...in the past.

8. Stop repeating mistakes over and over expecting new results.

Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them. If it didn't work, learn from it and try something new.

9. Stop resenting other people's success.

At some point, we all experience jealousy, but it's soooo dangerous. The only thing envy does is create a blockage in our own "flow". How about next time the green monster sneaks up on us we try celebrating our friends' successes with them. Try sending someone you're jealous of a message saying you're so happy and inspired by them, and see how you feel and what happens. Your stuff has nothing to do with their stuff, and their stuff has nothing to do with your stuff. As Gedale Fenster always says, "Stay in your lane."

10. Don't give up after failure. 

Those who avoid failure, avoid success. Failure is part of the process of growth and goal achievement. Don't take it personally! Embrace it, learn from it, and try again.

11. Don't fear time alone.

Time alone is golden. Make time every day to quiet your mind and just be alone with yourself. This is one my favorite ways to get unblocked and watch the creativity flow.

12. Don't feel entitled.

Around the time I was going through my "angry at G-d" phase, when I was starting to work on my Emuna (faith), I had an epiphany: Who ever promised me that my life would look the way I made it up in my head it should look like? The truth is, we are all only here on this earth for short while. We are simply guests. And whatever we get is a gift to be grateful for. And we certainly can't know or understand everything. So if you don't have it, it just means it's not for you right now. But that doesn't mean that tomorrow may be different. (See number 7 and 10.)

13. Don't expect immediate results.

In Judaism there is a metaphor about life being like a hallway. That's because we are always traveling through it. It's a moving process. And we can't always see all the millions of teeny miracles, details, curves and twists that create the journey that may or may not lead to the results we want. But we can trust in the process. Just keep moving forward. Don't give up. And make sure you enjoy the ride along the way!

So there you have it. I did NOT read the book, I just listened to the class, took some notes, and then added my own personal commentary. I hope these points help you. Try focusing on one of them a week (or month) and watch yourself live a victorious life every single day.

With loads of love,

Sharon

For private or group coaching please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

If you'd like to be added to Gedale Fenster's WhatsApp group for his daily classes, please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.


My Services:

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Are you sick and tired of not feeling good about yourself? Do you have dreams that you just feel like you are having a hard time achieving? Do you feel blocked? Are you struggling with body image issues and want to finally feel beautiful? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you struggling with self-esteem, relationship issues or career issues? I'm available for phone and FaceTime consultations. 

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Learn how to dress for your own beautiful, unique body and finally feel beautiful from the inside out. Or let me help you create the gowns of your dreams for your Simcha (wedding, bar/bat mitzvahs, events).  Full Simcha concierge services available. Or, treat yourself to some personal shopping and/or a closet makeover where we create brand new outfits from what you already own. Custom packages available. 

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I'm available for local and international events and speaking engagements.

Stay tuned for my upcoming business website: SharonLangertPrivateClient.com. 

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com or leave a comment below.