Wistful and Wisteria

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Last week, when this bipolar weather was having a searing hot moment, I decided to take a dip in my pool, clean up my backyard for the season, and immerse myself in the fantasy of a one hour faux vacation before my daughter arrived home from school. As I walked around picking up tubes and organizing chairs, I glanced up at my pergola and noticed that for the first time in the years since I planted it, my wisteria plant finally blossomed! 

The image of the delicate purple flowers hanging happily from the white lattice brought so much joy to the moment that I literally jumped up and down and shouted "Yay," even though I was all by myself in my backyard.

Every season I would search for a sign that my lushly growing wisteria plant would finally...finally, bloom. When I glanced up at the newly sprouted flowers it was at a pivotal moment in my life, I had been going through lots of transitions and was trying really hard to cope with my emotions in a positive way. Seeing those flowers was like a life affirming direct message from G-d.

Life as I had known it for the last 20 years had been drastically changing. My kids were growing up and moving away. Besides for the energy level in my home changing, I had become a grandmother to the most adorable baby, but being with him was only possible via stressful and time consuming air travel. And then, just a few weeks ago, my son decided to leave college to join the IDF, while my second daughter will be graduating high school and soon leaving for her year in Israel. That's two kids out the country and a daughter and grandchild out of state...emotionally it was all feeling like too much. I needed a reminder that all of those things were really great gifts...that being physically close to my kids was not the goal I worked towards as a mom, but rather it was the dream of having them blossom into their own individual and esteemed selves. It was success.
The wisteria bloomed only after many seasonal cycles. For years of long bare winters and hot leafy summers, those pretty little flowers existed only as future potential. But we waited and watched...and they finally arrived in all their glory. This deep message from nature cut through my melancholy so swiftly and brought joy to my heart. We plant, we water, we prune, we wait, we watch the ups and downs and changes...we believe in the potential. And good things DO eventually come to those who wait.

Are you inspired by the beautiful violet color of the wisteria flower? Here are three ways to wear this color!

Which one is your favorite?

Until next time...



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  1. Very touching post and something to which all mothers can relate. Yes, they are blooming into their own beautiful and unique colors, but still the "children-shaped holes" left in you...for now...until they return which will be here before you know it!

    I too am uplifted in mood by spring and what is finally blooming beautifully around me. Right now I'm inspired to plant more things to bloom...or maybe even a bigger garden!

    I'm not really a purple fan (even though I lift outside of Baltimore! LOL) but I really like the first and last dresses. That first dress is absolutely stunning and divine!

  2. So pretty Sharon and a touching post.. and one I can relate to:) Enjoy the weekend! xxleslie

  3. Such a beautiful, poignant post!

    The heartbreak of parenting, is knowing that from day one, your job is to make your child confident enough to leave you. A healthy child is always leaving, in one way or another, and they break your heart in 100 different ways. In between, are the flowers that you clutch close to your heart.

    The leave your womb, they leave your breast. They learn to run, and go the opposite direction in the grocery store. They leave for the first day of cheder. They find a pack of friends, and you have to haul them reluctantly back into the house before it gets dark. They leave for a year in Israel, for shidduchim, for the chuppah.

    In the leavings, you know that you have succeeded - but oh, how it hurts! In between the leavings, you cherish them all the more, because you know that this is all too transitory. Hold them close, and never miss a chance to say "I love you." because that is what carries them through when they make those scary steps away. When they say "I love you, too." it will carry you though.

    I wish I could give you a huge hug right now. Be proud of yourself, you are an excellent mom.

  4. The empty pain and the pure joy you feel when your children succeed and move on is hard. And what seems like only a short time later... they are calling to tell you they need you to help them with their children. The cycle - it's exhausting and we would have it no other way.
    It's time to stop and discover yourself all over again.

    Oh and the wisteria, I'm in love with the name {it sounds so romantic}. The vine itself is so strong and invasive it's hard to believe the delicate flowers bloom from it's stem.

  5. Hi, Sharon!
    I planted Wisteria beside a plants arc last year. One did't survived this winter. Very sad! I did'nt know, that they need such a long time until they have their first blossoms...so you are a lucky one and a great gift of the nature...
    I understand your feelings about your kids. A hard time!!!
    A big hug for you! I am holding on all those wonderful moments with my kids, cause I often think, that these great times are counted!
    Love, Ines

  6. Such a gorgeous colour! Love the way they grow all over the place, it's marvellous xx

  7. As for the dress I like the first one best. As for the Wisteria congratulations! I had planted a Wisteria a few years ago but every spring the deer came along and ate the blossoms. Not this year I sprayed those things and finally I'm getting a few flowers. I had another trumpet vine that for the first time after ten years flowered last summer and I was thrilled!


  8. Sharon...I so can relate to how you feel. I am not quite there yet but with a junior in high school who is "my baby'...that time is coming and it has me incredibly anxious. My life is my kids..there I admitted it! It is hard to close one chapter and start anew but I have no doubt we will both do it and figure it out as we go along...feel free to pass on any good advice of what you learn along the way:)
    Love wisteria, sooo beautiful and my favorite outfit is the last one. Enjoy the day!!

  9. I LOVE wisteria!!! We don't have any at our house, but our neighbors had beautiful wisteria every year ... until they cut it down. I was sooooo sad.

    And I can only imagine how I will feel about my kiddos leaving. It will be a double whammy!! I know you are so right about what you say ... but gosh, it must hurt.


  10. That fact that your kiddos felt confident to go out and make their way means you did a good job mama!

  11. Sharon how gorgeous!! I love the first dress! For a cooler day at a soiree whether poolside or not!

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    Art by Karena

  12. Such a pretty color!