Is Modesty A Form of Body Shaming?

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

On one of my recent plane rides, I happened upon an article in a popular magazine of an interview with a pretty famous celebrity, who was explaining that her penchant for nude photos was to take a stance against body shaming. I read the article with curiosity, shock, and a little Jewish guilt...after all, articles like that are the reason why many people won't bring those magazines into their homes.

But as a modest fashion blogger who likes to hear all sides of the story, and then use her own brain to form an opinion, my curiosity got the best of me. Was preaching modesty in fact a form of body shaming?

Pondering during a recent plane ride

Any woman out there that has actually taken some time to think for herself must have pondered these thoughts at some point. Why do we even have rules how to dress? And if the rules are based on other's judgments, or if our bodies are so deplorable (or sinful), then indeed that would be considered body shaming to many. I decided that I better have a more desirable explanation of what modesty means, and why it matters.

As the ideas for this post were brewing in my head, I had to dig deep inside to really come up with my own personal answers. I'm a pretty independent, outspoken woman, and I don't love rules all that much. And come on, I'll never be able to wear some of those gorgeous fashion trends that, no matter what, just won't fit into my personal dress code. (Hello off the shoulders! Everyone's shoulders look amazing.)
Although I wouldn't wear this, I still love this look

So why am I still standing by the laws of modesty? 

Well, I've been thinking a lot about Tiffany boxes.

Allow me to go off on a tangent for a moment.

Like everyone else, I have my own set of struggles. I mostly choose to have a bright outlook and not focus on them, but let's get real, life is life, and sometimes emotions overtake us, and things feel plain old not fair. And when you think you have tried everything under the sun to change a situation, or remedy a problem, sometimes all you have left are raw, angry tears directed towards G-d. 

And in those moments I comfort myself by thinking of my Tiffany box.

I believe that every single person in this world is born with a beautifully wrapped gift from Hashem. And the gift includes all the stuff we don't like. Every last drop of it. Do you know why? Because without all that stuff we would never become the strong, fierce, godlike people we were born to become. Think of all the times that good things come out of seemingly bad things, or situations change for the better only because of painful occurrences. Or just think of how you feel during and after a really tough workout.

Forgive me, but my *&#%  feels better when I think of it divinely packaged in a Tiffany box.

So what does all this have to do with modesty and body shaming? By thinking of a Tiffany box, I realized, that to me, modesty is exactly the opposite of body shaming. Each one of our bodies is as beautiful and precious as a perfect Tiffany diamond (and, yes they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors). Our bodies are so precious and powerful that we have been given the gift of fabulous packaging. And that's why I personally believe that fashion has the potential for great holiness.

Through fashion we get to express and 'wrap' ourselves uniquely with amazing clothes and accessories. Listen, I've been struggling with not shaming my own body for A LOT of years now, there's no way I'm letting the way I dress shame me. Clothes do the opposite. They are such a gift! They allow us to present ourselves in our best light. 
Our Tiffany colored 'packaging'

Dressing modestly to me means presenting a personally designed package that represents the creative, smart, spiritual, and beautiful women that we all are.

And that's it in a nutshell...or should I say a Tiffany box.

Please share your thoughts on this post with me at

Until next time,



Note: These ideas are my own personal opinions and I am not here to preach rules or standards, nor to minimize modesty, only to inspire by sharing my thoughts. The way a woman chooses to dress is a very personal decision, and I believe in respect and non-judgment for everyone.

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  1. Love this post. I battle with these issues everyday and loved hearing your fresh perspective! Thanks for sharing

  2. Couldnt agree more! Love ur style! #shavuatovSharon

  3. I like the compare with the Tiffany-box and I agree to your conclusion "dressing modestly to me means presenting a personally designed package that represents the creative, smart, spiritual, and beautiful women that we all are."

  4. Love your analogy and connection to the coveted Tiffany package. Over the years I've learned that dressing conservatively, smartly and with class, makes me more comfortable. I don't dress modestly - but I limit what is presented and try to present myself like a lady.
    Great article Sharon.

  5. I think modesty means respecting your body and your soul as a spiritual woman. What I think is body shaming, is posting half-naked photos of oneself in social media. There is plenty of that kind. I was happy to find bloggers who bring out the beauty of modesty. :)

  6. Love your style. You look so beautiful in every pics. It is nice to see you like this. Super post! Thanks for sharing this with us.

    Adena Harel

  7. Modesty is the OPPOSITE of body shaming! We aren't hiding our bodies because they are bad or dirty; we are exposing our personalities and our souls because THAT is who we truly are. When we expose our flesh in hopes of measuring up or attracting attention, we are actually making our manner of dress (or undress) about everyone else EXCEPT yourself and God--the only two who actually matter.

    Decide who you are and what you have to offer to God and to the world; and dress to send that message. Are your body parts all you have to offer? Is being sexy the rent that you pay to get to take up space? Definitely not! Are you: friendly, faithful, powerful, helpful, intelligent, resilient, productive, inventive, gregarious, kind, gentle, driven?...I could go on and on. Present to the world what you have to offer; your role in society as part of God's plan. There is no "naked" personality trait; it's a presentation you choose. Thank you for this post!!